The Boy From Ipanema

So I am up @ 2:45am. Doing some last min cleaning. My mom is coming tomorrow. What was suppose to be lunch has developed into an over night visit. Which is fine. I like when my mom comes to visit. I get stuff...Naw just kidding. That isn't the ONLY reason!

So as I'm picking up, I run across an old journal and in the back in a number of a person. Bob! Some of you may know of him...well after I ended all communication with him. I still kept the number tucked away.,..just in case. I just looked at it smiled. That number caused me to grow up a whole lot. I think I came across that number on purpose. I think God was testing me. To see..does she call? Will she text? What will cross her mind?

Ironically enough, I met a guy the other day and we have talked on the phone once or twice and he is NOT someone I'd put at the top of my lost. I knew that when I exchanged numbers, but I was questioning my humility. Do I think I'm too good for him? or is he really not my type? OR both, He is not my type b/c I think I am too good for him? Like who the fuck do I think I am?

Basically, he is 35, divorced, 2 kids, that alone was not so much a turn off, but More going on than I care to get involved with. A guy friend of mine asked, Do you really think in this day and age you are going to find a life partner? and I'm thinking what n de hell does 2009 have to do with a person decision making. I really do believe that there are single men out there just like me who know what they want there life to look like and act accordingly and are not settling, so why should I?

The bible teaches, "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly." so in order to attract you must be attractive....all week long I have been thinking about." You attract what you are not what you want. You attract what you are not what you like...truth hurt sometime, but that truth has lead me to think about some ways of mine I need to change.

So I say all that to say, I think finding the number was asking me," This was something you got involved in knowing it had not future, will you make the same mistake twice or will you walk away know that someone better is looking for you?"

I didn't call either one and chances are I won't again.